Navigating Elder Parent Care With Siblings

Siblings discussing care options with a caregiver

In working together to ensure the needs of your older parents are satisfied, even the closest siblings can find themselves in conflict. Stress and emotions are, needless to say, running high. Combine that with your past family dynamics and history, which have a tendency to resurface in the midst of difficult times, and it’s easy to see how elder parent care can be an emotional time for each of you.  

The most common facets of controversy among siblings entail financial decisions, different viewpoints on medical treatments or living arrangements, and an unfair division of duties related to caregiving, just to mention a few. 

Oftentimes, regardless of how hard you try, you and your siblings are unable to arrive at a consensus on elder parent care. An impasse similar to this is quite common, frequently stemming from challenging family dynamics and unsettled disputes. However, there’s a solution many families are not aware of that may be extremely beneficial: enlisting the help of an elder mediator.  

A professional skilled in resolving conflicts, an elder mediator brings an impartial, third-party voice to family discussions. They can help defuse elevated emotions and outbursts and direct the dialogue in a way that leads to an outcome that all parties can accept. 

Elder mediator Susanne Terry explains, “Most of the time siblings want what’s best for the parents. They just look at it in a different way. Our goal is to help them figure out what their common interests are, so they can work together to find solutions.” 

Different from family therapy, which helps families sort out struggles bit by bit over a lengthy period of time, elder mediation is a focused, compacted approach that typically results in an agreeable outcome in just a handful of sessions.  

Elder mediators allow siblings the opportunity to both offer input and listen respectfully to one another. The goal is not only to identify the very best outcome for the elderly parents, but to help the rest of the family preserve healthy relationships with each other in the process. 

When investigating elder mediation solutions, there are several questions you should ask: 

  • What is your education, training, and background? 
  • Are you a member of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM) or other professional associations? 
  • What are your fees? 
  • What amount of experience do you have in our particular situation? 

To find an elder mediator in your area, check out APFM’s mediator directory. Once you and your siblings make a decision on the most effective path forward in taking care of your parents, give Compassionate Care Home Health Services a call. We are a top rated home care company serving Cadillac, Saginaw, West Branch and throughout much of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula. We will be glad to provide a free in-home meeting to discuss how we can help ensure all their care needs are met. Contact us any time at 877.308.1212. 

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